Wednesday, February 12, 2014

Let Them Eat Milk Sandwiches

Snowpocalypse 2 has landed on the Southeast, and Charleston has succumbed to a horrendous case of chilly rain while the rest of South Carolina grinds to halt from a few inches of snow. We can only hope the milk sandwiches last long enough before Atlanta turns into a real version of the Walking Dead.

Anytime winter weather strikes the South, we become the butt of our own self-deprecating humor and the snarky criticism of our neighbors to the North. Cases like Charleston, where schools have shut down and bridges have closed over the cold rain, don't exactly improve the image. Northerners enjoy mocking our panicky runs on milk and bread when the threat of white stuff looms, and they question why we weren't ready for moments like this.

But a crippling snow/ice storm proves to be such a rare occurrence in the South that it doesn't make much sense to house a fleet of snowplows or other weapons to combat the cold. But then again, we're a little more resilient when it comes to other bouts of inclement weather. I and the rest of Charleston slept through one Category One hurricane and partied through another. The North and Cat 1 hurricanes? Not as much of a picnic.

Snow days are a rarity for children in the South, and they are met with an outpouring of appreciation and glee while parents scramble for milk and bread. I still recall the Blizzard of 88 that covered Spartanburg when I was 10. I think my sister and I were out of school for a week, and we took to speeding down a massive hill in the Clifton Glendale area daily on our sleds, which only received one real winter of use. Contrary to popular belief, we did not build our snowmen with mullets and smoking Camel Unfiltereds instead of a pipe. But those rare snow memories as a child growing up in the South maintain a special place in your heart due to their scarcity.

As an adult, the concept of snow in the South quickly turns from a novelty to nuisance, much like I would imagine it does for Northern children, especially those who still have to go to school in half a foot of white stuff. I was confined to the house during the storm of 2011 in the Upstate, and there's only so much Netflix you can take before you want to go get your SUV stuck in a snow bank.

But here in the Holy City, we only need some chilly rain to bring life to a crawl. Might as well head over to The Shelter and take refuge. Y'all be safe out there.

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