Thursday, September 25, 2014

A Fresh Edition of Is It Spartanburg?

We're serving up fresh veggies on the menu again as we dabble in the crime world of South Carolina's most dangerous city. See if you can guess which one of these headlines is real from Sparkle City:

Woman Beats Husband Unconscious with Squash
Man Robs Bank with Cucumber Under Jacket
Brothers Attack Each Other in Fight Over Stolen Okra

In the South, one of the holiest of holy vegetables is fried okra. That's why when Ted Kelly allegedly stole okra out of his brother's garden, Anthony Kelly felt he needed to confront his sibling about the veggie snatch. Words were exchanged, and Anthony decided the best course of action was to hit his brother with a stick, according to police. Ted responded by hitting his brother back with his own stick, earning both of them a night in the county lockup.

Would I shock you if I said alcohol was a factor? Probably not. Police say both men were too drunk to give statements.

I'm not sure I can exactly blame Anthony, as my grandmother's fried okra tasted like someone took pieces of unicorns and lightly battered them in angel tears. I probably would have smacked my sister or a cousin with a stick if they jacked my fried goodies. My wife makes some pretty damn good fried okra, too.

We fry everything here in the South. Okra, pickles, sometimes even bananas. I usually abhor vegetables since I'm a strictly meat and potatoes guy, but fry em up and we'll do business. My favorite veggie frying pan treat from Nana were her squash cookies. She would take thinly sliced squash, place some kind of voodoo spell on them, and then produce these lightly battered and fried treats that tasted too good to be a vegetable.

Several family members have tried to replicate her recipe, but no one has quite hit the mark.

But if you can find someone who can, I will gladly beat them with a stick to steal them.

1 comment:

  1. Unicorn meat: