Monday, December 15, 2014

Hot Tub Slime Machine

Got paid 'bout three fitty for mah services in the hot tube.
In this edition of Is It Spartanburg?, the tale is almost too good to be true. You may have caught it in the national news, but this beauty is almost too good to be true:

1. Water Moccasin Nest Ruins Hot Tub Party
2. Drunk Man Found Naked and Swimming in Hot Tub Store
3. Gay Hot Tub Threesome Ends in Fight

You know you want to pick the last headline, and you're right. Three Spartanburg men engaged in a ménage à tub after two of them met another in a gay nightclub. They took their swim at a home where one of the men was dog-sitting (because why take the party to your own home?). According to police, one of the men, Austin Adams, 18, began arguing with Douglas Tench, 21, over who used to get paid more as a male escort.

And of course, in Sparkle City, them's fightin' words.

Adams and Tench engaged in more than just love taps in the hot tub, and it finally took the third man, Michael Gordon, 33, to separate them, according to police. Tench fled to another house to call the cops, resulting in the arrest of all three: Adams for assault and Tench and Gordon for providing Adams with booze, according to the police.

Needless to say, all three men admitted that alcohol was involved. That's just a given in Spartanburg.

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